Winters are long in Canada and a few of us at the Hedge missed the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" phenomenon as it was happening. So after days of writing and editing, we'd make our way through the series DVDs in the evenings. And we came up with a list of twenty things we learned from Buffy.
1. Garlic is good for you.
2. Never try to finish a big project by yourself without telling someone what you are working on.
3. Be in shape so that you can run away from things in a hurry; practice running in heels. Or see Rule 4.
4. Wear sensible shoes.
5. Don't go downstairs. (See Rule 15)
6. Upstairs is not always a good idea either.
7. Kill something evil the first time. You might not get another chance.
8. Puppies may not necessarily be exempt from Rule 7.
9. Phobias can come in handy.
10. If you think something weird is going on, something weird is probably going on.
11. If everyone in town is singing, it counts as something weird going on.
12. Splitting up the group is rarely a good idea.
13. Do not walk towards the curiously-shaped shadow.
14. If you are teacher, do not get involved romantically with your students. Especially if it is 1955.
15. Sewers have downstairs-like qualities.
16. Stand back from the demon.
17. Health care professionals are generally suspect in the evil department. (Do you really like that school nurse?)
18. Never get a job as a security guard. Especially if the job is downstairs. Or upstairs. Or in a basement. Delivering pizza is also dangerous. So is being happy. If you are a happy security guard who moonlights as a pizza driver, it's pretty much over for you.
19. Don't work the late shift. This would go double if you have a security job and work among health care professionals.
20. Always carry a No. 2 pencil.
If you're a Buffy aficionado, please feel free to add your lessons learned from Buffy in the comments. We should be able to get this list up to a TV-ish number like 4 8 15 16 23 42 or 555.
